Georgie meets Mr. Shell

So, we're in Tejas for Spring Break. Big plans....beautiful warm sunshine, playing with cousins, Houston Rodeo, visiting fam and pals, bluebonnets...you get the pic. As all good plans unfold, revisit our new plan. Double ear infection, spewing antibiotics, massive projectile vomit resulting from stomach plague, cold temps and rain, more vomit, no Rodeo, explosive diarrhea x 2. Not exactly the relaxing fun-filled vacation we hoped for. After 3 days of contaminating my sister's household with bugs and fussy little ones, we sent Daddy packing home on the big "air-pee" (A's rendition of airplane) while G&A and I ventured out to the Hill Country to spread more germs at the in laws.

This is where the story gets funny. Yes, it's another poop story so keep reading if your stomach is strong.

This was my virgin voyage into the wild-blue-yonder with my little beings, so I was a bit anxious. The vomiting ceased but I felt confident to hit the road. We made one last attempt to do the Rodeo that morning, and much to my sweet nephew and neices' distaste, had to abort the plan due to G&A's continued ill health. So we decided to infect the people at the mall instead.

After three completely gross diapers and poop down my skirt at the mall (thought we were past those days of having to pack extra outfits for me), we loaded up and off we went. Trip went well until I "heard" G's production. Pulled over at the beloved Shell gas station, gassed up the wag, and went to unload him from his carseat. Upon opening the door, he was sitting in a POOL OF POOP!!! Literally, I had to SCOOP it out with the paper towels I purchased inside. The logistics of the rest of the story were baffling and probably only interesting to other moms or my mother, but make a hilarious vision.

Got A out first, at which point she began screaming and velcroing herself to my leg, attracting lots of attention....she did not cease crying until much later in the saga, so as you picture this, remember her wailing in the background and my peg-leg walk. They both waddled into the store with me, poop dripping down G's legs. Found the diaper change area...in the foyer next to the Subway dining area. Apologies to the sweet family eating their cold cut combos. G had poop from the tips of his sweet brown hair..on his paci...down to his newly brown-shaded socks. My only choice was to strip him down, which he thought was HILARIOUS!!! Imagine my precious boy laughing hysterically and galloping away from me while buck-naked in front of the dining area!! Ended up having to take him into the bathroom, sit him in the sink and start scrubbing. Yes folks, another first for the baby book...George's first Shell station bath!

Got him dried, dressed, and donned with new couture. Then it was my delicate little princess's turn to clean her also ill-soiled bottom, which was a breeze compared to the Streaker. Made it back to the car where I did my best to rid our ride of the evidence. G sat on plastic bags for the rest of the hour-long smelly ride to Grammy and Grandpa's and we kept the windows down....

I must brag on myself for a moment. Never lost composure other than laughing and apologizing to the dining patrons. Tested my problem solving skills in assessing where to begin...built new brain synapses to shield from dementia, woo hoo!!! And G&A did not have to walk out to the car barefooted in only their diapers! Took two days for the Wag to air out and an engineering degree to wash the carseat cover. The babies are much better now after 6 days of nastiness. At least we will have two days of vacation to enjoy!!

BTW, BIG KUDOS to Aunt Laura who earned her Brown Badge of Heroic Victory over the Northern and Southerly Baby Twin Spew. Couldn't have done it without you...